Detention with the jerk!
by dramionelove4ever
Summary: I hate Snape; he really is the snivelly old fool that Harry and Ron call him, I don’t understand why I ever reprimanded them. I HATE myself, how could I have got DETENTION and that too, with him? And lastly, I HATE Malfoy, because .umm…because…He’s Malfoy


AN : Hello all of you wonderful readers. I am so glad you chose to read my little one shot. I hope you enjoy it.

Okay, so we have got a detention together, Yuck!!! Why me?? Why meeeeeee?  
I'm basking in self pity right now and I'm feeling so mad at the entire world that I just can't stop asking myself…..WHY ME???

I hate Snape; he really is the snivelly old fool that Harry and Ron call him, I don't understand why I ever reprimanded them. I HATE myself, how could I have got DETENTION and that too, with him? And lastly, I HATE Malfoy, because ….umm…because…He's Malfoy!

And now, I have to clean the great hall without magic, just because I and Malfoy fought in the potion lesson. What's the big deal? It was just a small little fight that always happens between enemies.

Oh yeah, a small little fight in which I hexed his hair to disappear and then he made my skirt grower shorter and shorter, and then I tickled him half to death, and then he made warts grow all over my face, and then I manually slapped him and then he pulled my hair, nearly off my scalp…and then…okay okay, it got a little wild. And did I add that he also accidently threw me straight into Snape? So that I landed neatly on his lap and my hand flew and smacked his snivelly nose. Don't laugh please, it was a nightmare!

Eeeeeeks, I still have the feeling of numbness in my hand, where it touched his nose. It was horrible, almost like a dirt pit.

Anyway, to the point. Here I am, at ten in the night, staring at Malfoy's face, getting ready to two hours of pure torture. Now do I have the right to say once again? WHYY MEEE?

"I know I'm amazing, but stop staring." Mr. Idiotically arrogant said.

"Oh you think so? What, Malfoy? What was it that caused such a big trauma in your life that you got the facts so drastically muddled? Was it your father, who must be spending most of his time taking care of his hair, or your mum, who I'm sure has less hair than your daddykins?"

Yes! He's getting pissed off. How I love that! He looks even more hideous (if that's even possible) when his face is all crunchy and wrinkled. Yuck, did you see the way his eyes go narrower and his cheeks become paler? I bet, he's thinking of a good retort and in a second he'll say something insulti….

"Granger, I'm not sure if you have the right to speak about my parents. I have seen your dad, and I'm sure as hell that I didn't see any hair on his head. And YOUR mum, I have to admit, I've been to the savannahs and I've never seen a bigger bush than the one currently on your mom's head!"

HOW DARE HE? Talk about MY parents? I'm so going to show him what a bush means….

I whipped out my wand and "Elongiata" I pointed at his head and shouted. Oh wow!

Look at his hair, getting longer and longer bye the second! The look on his face is the most satisfactory feeling ever!

Before he can overcome the shock, I say the second spell that is running around in my head, "Frizzora." My my! It's working wonders, his hair is now almost upto his waist and frizzier than ever! He looks………HILARIOUS!

I just can't help laughing, I cracked up and said, "Now THAT'S a bush, Malfoy!"

He is clutching his hair and looking around in bewilderment.

I keep on laughing, I mean, look at him!! Who wouldn't laugh?

"Tapees Emore!" he shouted, pointing his wand at me. Okay, so that's a new spell, what's it supposed to do?

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, Malfoy, you ass!" I scream out, watching in horror as my skin blackened, getting darker and darker, until it was the color of ash.  
Now it was his turn to laugh. Curse him!

"I wish when you were born, your parents had had the brains to realize what you are, and had sent you to the zoo!" I shouted, unsure what to do about my skin.

"I'm glad the community you live in had the brains and sent your entire family to the zoo. I dont know how you managed to escape though."

Urgh, he's infuriating! " Engorgio!" I bellowed at his stomach which enlarged magnanimously, making him looking like he was pregnant with quadruplets.

"You are not the only one who knows that spell!" he cried out, "engorgio!"

My nose!! Oh my God! It's getting….

Two can play at the same game. "Engorgio"…. his ears.

"Engorgio!"… my teeth!! Ahhhh, It's painful!

"Engorgio!" his eyebrows……

"Granger! I cant see!!" He shouted, trying to clear out the masses of hair covering his eyes.

"Yeah, and I'm about to care about that, am I, Malfoy?"

He was spinning in circles. He pointed his wand blindly at me and was about to say a spell….hey wait!! I've got to be the stupidest witch to ever grace Hogwarts with her presence. Why am I not disarming him??

Before he could say anything I screamed "explelliarmus!"

His wand flew out his hand and I had said it with so much power that he himself went flying back.. HA HA… and landed neatly on Snape!  
ON SNAPE?!?!?!

Gulp….

So…in short we stood in front of him. Malfoy with waist length frizzy hair, a protruded stomach, elephant ears and eyebrows reaching his chin, and me, as black as soot, with a nose as large as a double sundae, and teeth…that were not teeth any more but fangs!

"So.." Snape said, "This is what you do on your detention?"

Personally, I have NO idea why he's getting pissed off, at last he has found a couple of people who look worse than him! Shouldn't he be happy?  
"I think" he continued "you both deserve a month full of detention."

Malfoy and I look at each other. Detention? A month? With each other?

!

AN 2 :

1. I know Hermione is OOC but it's a fun fic! So just accept her!  
2.I hope you guys laughed,  
3. Please review!


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